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From the Board - Archive 2008
February 2008
Janet Mauro
Parliamentarian
V'ahavta
As many of you may know I have committed these last two years to study. I enrolled in Rabbi Acrish's Adult B'Nei Mitzvah class last year and am looking forward to achieving this milestone this coming July. In addition, I have been attending as many of Rabbi Leah's prayer classes this year as I can. Our Rosh Chodesh group also has me exploring where I come from and who I am as Jewish woman. Needless to say I am truly looking at my world through a new lens…. a Jewish lens.
What exactly does this mean? Up until last week that was hard for me to define, but after attending Rabbi Leah's class on the V'ahavta my evolution has become more clear. We spent quite a bit of time reading each part of this prayer, examining what each phrase might mean. The V'ahavta has always been a prayer that resonated within my heart so exploring it so intensely was a very spiritual experience for me.
What does it mean to ‘love G-d with all your mind, with all your strength and with all your being?' How does one ‘teach these words diligently to one's children?' How does that play out in one's daily actions? I found that during the week following this class I paid much more attention to my actions, thoughts and words. I tried to be more caring in conversation with my loved ones. I tried, although with less success than I'm proud to admit, to stay out of the gossip and politics at work. By keeping the words of this prayer in the forefront of my thoughts I was able to recognize when I was being my best self and when I needed to step back and realize that I was not. It was quite an enlightening week.
When next you attend Shabbat services and we recite the V'ahavta pay attention to the English words. The injunction is really very simple…keep God in your mind, in the words of your mouth, in the actions of your hands. I hope you will find the words as enlightening and enriching as I do.
In October, during Rabbi Acrish's Friday night sermon, Rabbi asked the congregation why we thought more young adults were involved in what appears to be random acts of violence. Random acts of violence such as that which recently happened on December 5, 2007, at an Omaha Mall, when a teenager randomly gunned down eight people.
I believe one of the issues is that families juggle so much that it is hard to find quality time together. This phenomenon mentally affects children and young adults more because they require the morals, values, caring, nurturing and guidance that only a parent can truly provide. Also the child or young adult may not understand the pressures a parent can be under. Thirty or forty years ago this lack of time between parent and child may not have affected the child as much because there were other family members (grandparents, aunts, uncles) that would fill in. But as our society became more affluent and mobile, this support no longer exists for most families. Relatives have moved away for job or retirement; or the family has moved away from relatives for a job.
Today many parents feel the pressures of work and may not realize that they are not giving their children “quality time.” The parent is spending time with their children, but it is not “quality time.” It is unintentional and parents believe that they are doing the right thing. The parent may feel compelled to put in that extra office work at home in the evening to avoid the termination of their job. It is justifiable because the family might not survive the loss or interruption of income. The interruption of income could put a strain on the family relationship, which could be more detrimental than a lack of "quality time."
I see examples of time versus "quality time" when we are at a sporting event. It could be a family outing to a professional baseball game or watching the kids play a little league game. Somewhere in the stands a family will be enjoying time together watching their team or child play when the cell phone rings. For some reason the parent feels compelled to answer (doctors on call are exempt). Why answer the cell phone? What is more important than family "quality time"? Ultimately the parent will leave to talk on the cell phone, whether because of the surrounding noise or for privacy The family's quality time has been interrupted, and it becomes just time spent in a different environment. I am sure that we have noticed this and other examples of interruptions in family "quality time."
Increasingly parents have relied upon teachers and youth leaders (coaches, mentors, scout leaders, religious leaders, etc.) to take on what had been traditionally the responsibilities of the parent because of time constraints. While teachers and youth leaders do the best they can, they are only with the child 40% of waking hours. The parents must be reinforcing these teachings the other 60% of waking hours, which can only be accomplished with "quality time." Also, we as adults need this "quality time" with our children to keep our sanity.
How about this idea? Instead of just dropping your child off at Sunday school and heading home to read the newspaper, why not walk into Temple Beth Elohim with your child. Meet your children's teachers. Join your children in their Sunday school classrooms and see what is going on. You will also find out that there are other things going on at TBE while your child is attending religious classes. Many TBE social groups meet during the same time period. Check out the Men's Club (1st Sunday of the month and Sisterhood (3rd Sunday of the month). There is also usually coffee and other goodies available in the lobby. You can just hang with the rest of us; make new friends and catch up with old acquaintances. If you do this, you will start to get to know people and feel very comfortable and involved in Temple life.
Hopefully I will see you soon at TBE and we can interact, face to face, without interruption, and have some “quality time” to share stories about what our children are doing as they grow. Quality time is a non-renewable resource – use it wisely.
Shalom
Joe
