Temple Beth Elohim - News From the Board of Directors Archive 2009

December 2009
David Eppinger
1st Vice President

NUMBERS

Why does it take 10 men four hours to cook up a little potato and onion? Surely, they are not quick-fire chefs or working at the local breakfast grill. On the other hand, most breakfast grills don't dice up 120 pounds of potatoes and 60 pounds of onions and then give them all away. It must be Hanukkah. On Sunday December 13th, our Men's Club will again cook up its tasty treat of Potato Latkes for our religious school children. We expect to make over 250 Latkes this year, and possibly more. You'll know you are near our Temple from the wonderful smell of the golden fried latkes as you drive up Mount Ebo Road . It's a sign of the season, and a labor of love.

What takes 25 numbers to complete? It's not a phone number. It's not the wireless network password (thank goodness). No, it's not your tax return. It's BINGO. We've been having a great time providing BINGO at Temple since April. We've had lots of new friends and neighbors come to our Temple on Wednesday nights, spend an enjoyable 3 hours playing bingo and socializing, and even getting to take home some extra money. If you haven't tried BINGO in years, you are missing quite the wonderful time. In November we had our first BIG payout (to a college student $1000) as he won the progressive jackpot. That should help pay for a book or a good party. He even donated a portion back to the Temple . Come try out your luck, and have a nice potato knish while you're here.

What brought 95 people together on a Saturday night in November for a laugh? It was the 17th annual Men's Club Comedy night. Jay Greenberg did his culinary magic in the kitchen cooking up lots of wonderful food; we set up our stage and tables in the social hall; and we had 2 hilarious comedians keep us in stitches for a couple of hours. Everyone felt this was our best show ever. You will want to make sure to plan for next year's show in November.

What takes a moment to notice and lasts a lifetime? It takes 30 beats, then 2 breaths, then repeats 4 more times. Helping to save a life. The Men's Club will be purchasing and installing an AED (Automated External Defibrillator) in the Temple to help save lives. We know the importance of being prepared, and having the right tools nearby to do any job. This AED, along with the trained first aide responders, may be able to help save a life one day. With the great number of members and friends that visit our Temple each week, we want to be sure that we can give each person 1 more chance.

If you are interested in learning more about the Men's Club, or BINGO, or about taking the CPR and AED training, please feel free to give me a call.

B'Shalom and Happy Hanukkah.
David Eppinger

November 2009
John Novo
Director-at-Large

Temple Beth Elohim-As Seen by a Non-Jew

I am currently serving on your Board of Directors and very proud to be helping make our Temple family a better place for all of us. I did not grow up with aspirations of joining a Temple, nor did I ever imagine following a Jewish life. This is my story.

It all started in New York City, where I met my wife, Jamie. Early in our relationship she popped the big question: "If we had children, would you be okay raising them Jewish?" As I observed her family going to Temple occasionally during the year and always at the holidays, I noticed that although they did not show up weekly, they were always welcome. I learned that you prayed for tolerance and good deeds. I have always tried to live my life in accordance with one important philosophy: when you go into a room, remember to leave it a better place than when you got there.

This is how I felt about Judaism, and even more so as I learned about the Reform branch of Judaism. We came to Temple Beth Elohim over six years ago. I joined for Jamie and to support Judaism for our son, Grant. My fear was that I might feel left out and unwelcome. After a short time we were invited to a New Member Dinner and went not knowing if I would feel out of place or not. When we walked in Rabbi Acrish insisted we sit at his table. "Maybe he doesn't know I'm not Jewish," I thought. He was as warm and as generous of himself to me as I had seen him be with everyone else. He was a big reason we joined the Temple Beth Elohim family. I lost all fear of not feeling welcome that night. I've since learned that the Rabbi actually thinks of us non-Jewish spouses as "Unofficial Jews."

After Jamie became involved with the Junior Youth Group, I helped with several events, and the kids always seemed to have a good time. I noticed that I also was having fun. As time passed we made some wonderful friendships with other Temple members; we went to many events, including dinner dances and Comedy Night, to name a couple; and we also enjoyed attending Shabbat and High Holyday services.

I also heard about and watched the new Temple home being built. It went on for a while from inception to reality. My fondest day to date, outside of Grant's Bar Mitzvah, was the day you allowed me to carry a Torah in our march from Route 22 to our current location. You (our Temple family members) made me feel like I belonged. In fact you have always treated me as if I have always been a Jew. You made me a part of the Temple Beth Elohim family, and I will always be grateful.

As you all know we have had some financial troubles trying to make our new location work for all of us. Instead of watching on the side, I decided I wanted to help. Jamie had joined the Choir and then worked with Ava on the Rental Committee and then took over as Chair last year. Shortly thereafter Nan sent out an email asking if anyone wanted to join the Board of Directors. I called and asked if a non-Jew could join and again you made me welcome. I became a Director-at-Large and soon became the Board's liaison to the Rental Committee. At that time the Rental Committee was well on the way to selecting the right caterer for our social hall, Vista on the Hill. Jean-Jacques' Culinary Creations was named, and a partnership was formed. This was very exciting, but more was needed.

We had unused space downstairs and classrooms upstairs that were empty most of the time. As a parent advisor for the Northern Westchester YMCA and a new Board member for the Temple, I invited the Y to see our space. My hope was that they might rent some classrooms, but my wish was for them to rent and build out the downstairs. Well, from a small seed came a signed contract the first week of October. They will rent three classrooms for four months and are looking at doing after-school programming as well as a Kindergarten enrichment program. If this programming is successful, they will sign a longer-term lease.

We also have been discussing our upstairs and downstairs space with Head Start, and they had their grant for two classrooms approved on the same day that the signed contract from the Y came. We now will have two new tenants to compliment Sunshine Preschool. Our hope is that Head Start will one day want to build out downstairs. This has been an exciting time for the Rental Committee.

As I continue to participate and continue to see more positive growth for Temple Beth Elohim, I would like to reach out to each of you. We, your family, need and want your help. Join a committee, support Bingo or other events, bring in new members, donate time and/or money. Please don't watch from the sidelines. Get involved. But most of all, please feel like you belong to a great Temple family, like I do. I want to thank each of you for making that possible. You are a wonderful family to be a part of, and, as any family, if we work and stay together, there is nothing we can't do.

Thank You,
John

October 2009
Joe Coco
Treasurer

Do you Oneg?

I am in New York City on a regular basis. Part of my trip takes me on the subway from Grand Central Terminal to City Hall. I am always amazed at how many people have their MP3 player with ear buds listening to music. In fact sometimes the volume is so high I can hear their music (and they are using headphones). Recently I was on the subway in Rome, Italy. No one had an MP3 player.
My hairdresser's daughter stays up regularly until 3:00 am text messaging one or two friends.
I have colleagues that will only interact via e-mails. Is it because it leaves a paper trail? Is it because they can respond whenever they want, like 3:00 am?
A divorcee from Danbury, Connecticut was dating a guy from Boston, Massachusetts whom she met on-line through Match.com. Her problem, which she made public on a local radio show, was that he would not meet with her in Boston. Her question to the listening public was how to find out his background.
My sons' peers spend hours on the social networking website Facebook. They are communicating with others who share similar interests. What they are communicating and with whom they are communicating no one, not even their parents, knows. In fact, even the kids who are on Facebook do not know exactly with whom they are communicating.
My son went on a weeklong trip to Boston courtesy of Tauck Tours. One of the tour rules was no electronic devices.
I have been an Assistant Scout Master with Troop 52 in Danbury for the last four years. I listen and speak to the scouts face to face. We have intelligent, and sometimes silly, discussions. I know them, and they know me on a personal basis. I have a great rapport with these scouts.

So what do these seven items have in common? De-personalization of human interaction among the United States population. While technology is great, it can be regressive. MP3 players, e-mail, text messaging, instant messaging, social networking web sites, matchmaking websites take the human touch and interpersonal skills out of being … well, a human being!

MP3 players create a space that tells others “do not enter.” By listening to “personal” music you are telling others do not interrupt me; do not interact with me. The listener is usually looking down or their eyes are closed. Is this so they can concentrate on their music or so they do not even have to make eye contact with others?

Text messaging (TM), instant messaging (IM) and e-mails (EM). In most instances it would be easier to just reach for the telephone and call the other party. The conversation would be quicker, albeit you do not exercise your fingers or learn speed typing. While the telephone was a step in the de-personalization process compared to face-to-face interaction, we have grown to accept it over the last 134 years. The pitfalls of the telephone are the emotion that may be transmitted and the spontaneity of the conversation. With TM, IM and EM, it can be a non-emotional response that we can think about before we send. Sounds like the time when people would send letters. The difference then was that the letters were typically well thought out and contained emotion.

Social networking web sites and matchmaking web sites. How can we really know someone over the internet without actually meeting them face-to-face for a period of time? We can't. The person who has the information controls the information. Back in the day, unless you did your socializing at a bar, you had a personal introduction to other people by way of friends. Existing friends prescreened these new friends and existing friends could give you some background information. It had a personal touch about it.

My son's Boston trip and my experiences with the Boy Scouts. The rule of no electronics on my son's Boston trip was to force them to interact with each other for six days and seven nights. What a concept! They did not die either. My Boy Scout experience shows that even young adults can deal with face-to-face interaction when need be, and if done right they enjoy it and get something out of it – more personal relationships with other human beings.

What does this have to do with onegs? Onegs are not only sweets, treats and beverages, they create an atmosphere where congregants interact on a personal basis. If you don't come to synagogue on a regularly, then you should try it and then socialize at the oneg. If you come to synagogue but leave right after services, stick around and interact. You might meet new friends. Become human again and oneg!

B'Shalom,
Joe

September 2009
Janet Mauro
Corresponding Secretary, Worship Committee Co-Chair

A New Year's Reflection from the Board of Directors
As we enter the High Holy Day season, we know that it is a time for Jews to reflect on the year gone by and to make a promise, not only with G-d, but also with ourselves so that the coming year will be a better one. We resolve to become kinder, more thoughtful of others, and to take better care of our loved ones and ourselves. We promise to improve ourselves and to try to help mend the world around us.

This year the Board of Directors is doing similar reflecting. Looking back on the past year we've found that we need to be better listeners to you, the Congregation. By strengthening our skills in this area, we will be better able to determine what you need from the Temple and what you want from your membership. We also need to become better, more effective communicators to be sure that you know of all the many things you are offered as members of our Temple family and to keep you apprised of Temple business as well. Most of all the members of the Board of Directors need to be approachable when you have a need or concern.

To achieve these goals we need to work in partnership with you, as the Board of Directors is comprised of only 15 individuals. We need for each and every Temple member to step up and become involved in at least some aspect of Temple life that one finds is of interest.

Let us know what you need or want from your membership and how you might be able to contribute to the development of programs in any of these areas (or any others):

Do you want Adult programs? Let us know what kind.
Do you have suggestions for Family programs? Tell us what you're imagining.
Are you interested in Social action? It's likely there are others who share your desire to help.
Even more importantly, do you or a family member need some help? Tell us and we can help search out the resources you need while being sure to maintain your privacy.
Do you want to be of help to others in our Temple family who may be hurting in these difficult times we live in? Let us know and we'll help make that link.

As for how the Board can better communicate with you, let us know:

How you like to hear from us - do you prefer email or conventional mail? Which is easier for you? Which tends to get your attention?
Is there a feature you'd like to see added to the Website or the Menorah?
Are there communication methods that we currently use which just don't work for you? Please let us know so we can put our energy into the most effective communication modes at our disposal.

Let us be partners with you as we all work together to make 5770 a positive and blessed year for our congregational family.

Shana Tova,
Janet

Summer 2009
Brenda Friedman
Director at Large
Membership Chairperson

This is the first article I have written for our TBE newsletter. Many of the previous articles have been informative and inspirational. I don't know which category this will fall into - it will be up to you to decide. I have served one year on our Board and took over as Membership Chair just a few months ago. When I volunteered to do this job (you know the syndrome, you just can't keep your hand from going up when someone asks for volunteers?), I knew this would be a crucial position at a very important time in our Temple 's history. We are facing many of the same financial struggles that all non-profit organizations are facing at this time. One of the areas that can help is membership push.

The word "membership" can mean many things to different people. To me, it means nothing more than "welcome." The purpose of our Temple as a whole is to welcome those who wish to pray with us into our community; to give them friendship, laughter and a spiritual home to turn to in happy times as well as sad. TBE has always prided itself on being a warm, welcoming place. If you asked the Temple members you know why they joined, most would say that they liked the feeling they got when they visited a Shabbat Service, attended a B'nei Mitzvah service or attended our Purim Carnival. That is the feeling I want to continue to convey to all those interested in our Temple .

How do we do this? It's so easy. Say hello to a new face at the oneg. Wish someone you don't recognize a "Shabbat Shalom." Invite a new neighbor to come to a service with you. Sit down next to a new person at the tables in the foyer during religious school. The common denominator here is person to person. In this age of technology where an e-mail or text is now an acceptable way of maintaining a relationship, we need to bring back the human touch. Verbal communication, in person or on the phone, will help us to continue the warm feeling that computers just can't convey.

On a larger scale, the very enthusiastic and growing membership committee has been working behind the scenes to aid in welcoming our prospective members as well as working on ways to help integrate new members into our community. We are developing a multi-faceted mentoring program that will pair up a new member with an existing member. In the next few months, you will be asked to participate in this program. Take a moment to remember that warm feeling again and how it made you feel a part of our TBE community. This is an easy way to pay it forward. We are also working closely with our Publicity and Public Relations Committee to help get the word through articles and advertisements.

Please feel free to forward me any other ideas you have, and I will present them to our committee. Or better yet, join our committee!

B'Shalom
Brenda

June 2009
David Eppinger
2nd Vice President
Men's Club President
'Bingo Czar'

The Three "Gets"
It's Springtime finally, so it's time to get out that list of projects that you have been meaning to do for quite awhile. Breaking down a big job into small steps makes the project more manageable and more successful. Aside from your personal list around the house, I have three suggested additions for your Temple life. Let's call them "The Three Gets."

Get Engaged - We have some wonderful functions and programs at our Temple. Did you make it to the Unity Concert? It was inspirational, and brought together neighbors to share their love of community and brotherhood. How about the Purim celebration? It was energetic, frenzied and quite a good time for both our children and adults. Comedy Night? Two hilarious comedians and a great night out. We have programs every month and are always looking for new ideas.

Speaking about wonderful programs, have you come to a Great Debate? Lots of ideas and viewpoints discussing topics of today. No advance reading required. No right answers. Just more questions. Open minds encouraged.

Get Involved - Did you ever wonder how the ants move that mountain of dirt? Everyone does a little bit. Volunteer to help out in some way at our Temple. We have some wonderful active committees, and some that could use a little bit of help. How about helping out with the Library? Want to help at Bingo? Come try out Sisterhood or the Men's Club. We would love to have you join. How about re-igniting our Social Action Committee, and helping others in need? Want to help out with our Youth Group, or our Social Club? Just join in.

Get Invested - There are many ways that you can help keep Temple Beth Elohim working. Soon you will be presented with the Budget for the Temple, and the Dues commitment. Using a slogan from another organization close to my heart, I would ask that each of you "Do Your Best" to help support our Temple. We have many financial challenges, and need each family to do what they can. You can also remember special events or special people with our Memorial wall, or by renewing your Building Fund pledge (just because we have the keys doesn't mean we own the door). How about talking to your family about Planned Giving or Endowments. There are many ways to raise funds and to remember our Temple in your planning.

So that's it. Three simple 'Gets' to add to your Springtime To Do list. If we each "Do Our Best" to get engaged, to get involved, and to get invested in our Temple, we can move a mountain.

B'Shalom
David

May 2009
Larry Hepner
Immediate Past President

The Next Generation
As with any organization with longevity and a history, the infusion of new members is of ultimate importance. Yes, gaining membership is crucial, but for the organization to advance, there needs to be a new generation of committed leaders.

We here at Temple Beth Elohim are truly blessed. Many “new” people have stepped into roles on committees, as chairpersons, as board members, and as teachers in our religious school. I say new in quotes, as there are some long-term members who have recently found more time or a reason to get more involved in our Temple family. Take a look around and you will see more activities and initiatives with more involvement from a variety of our members.

As an “old” Temple member (old in more ways than one!), I am delighted and thrilled to see this and their new ideas and enthusiasm. In these difficult times, this group of committed people is a tremendous asset.

Why is this so important? Ask some of our founders from the original inception of Temple Beth Elohim or ask our Rabbi. There is a certain satisfaction in seeing the Temple grow. There is also a great deal of comfort in knowing that the governance and business of the Temple is in good hands. And in good hands we are! The expertise and dedication of these members is truly impressive.

This does not mean that we seasoned members are going away. As one of our new leaders mentioned, we need to keep and understand our Temple history. It is a time for we long time members to serve the Temple in capacities that we love and enjoy.

The Temple can always use more input, ideas and helping hands. This is a great way for you to make connection with other Temple members. These connections are what give you a tie, a stake - roots if you will - with your Temple family. This is what keeps you coming back and your children coming back. There is nothing better than setting an example for your family.

When someone asks you to join or help, say, "Yes! ! !". You won’t regret it. Better yet, where you have a talent or a passion, volunteer. The President of the Temple delights in hearing from those who would like to serve.

The next generation of leaders is coming along nicely. A great big thank you is in order and an encouragement to others to join in ensuring that our Temple family is in good hands for years to come.

B’Shalom
Larry Hepner

February 2009
Joe Coco
Parliamentarian

The Business of Religion
Some see religion as a link to the past, a tradition or to bring continuity into our lives. Some see it as a vehicle for teaching morals, values and behaviors. Those members who serve on the Temple Board of Directors also understand that in addition to being a house of worship, a house of learning and a house of community, a Temple has income and expenses, and like any other business, we must do our best to make ends meet.

Many companies offer religious data, which if used correctly could help religious organizations with business planning. A good example is data compiled by the Pew Forum on Religion & Public Life in August 2007 to describe the “American religious marketplace.”

More than one-quarter (28%) of adult Americans switch between religious faiths or drop out of religious affiliation during their lifetime.
The number of religiously unaffiliated American adults is 16.1%. The number of religiously unaffiliated Americans between 18 and 29 years of age is more than 25%.
The unaffiliated group is growing faster than any other religious group, even though they are losing more than any other religious group. The influx is three times the number leaving the unaffiliated group for a religion.
More unaffiliated become affiliated when their children are of an age to start religious school.
37% of the American population is in an interfaith marriage.
Catholics have taken the biggest hit with 23% leaving the faith. The number would be higher but recent Latino immigrants, mostly Catholics, have offset native-born American Catholic's leaving the faith.
Jews (1.7%) are ranked a distant fourth in the United States, far behind Protestants – which includes Baptists (51.3%), Catholics (23.9%), and Unaffiliated (16.1%).
50.8% of American Jews are over 50 years of age.

So we, Temple Beth Elohim, have a choice. We can go after those switching into or out of a different religion or fight over a rather fixed amount of Jews in our community. Temple Beth Elohim has avoided going after congregants of another temple, fearful of starting a congregant war among the local temples.

We have recently attracted families from other area temples, and one of them sent people to observe us one Friday night. I spoke with them briefly, and they said they were amazed at the number of congregants attending services that Friday night. That night we had over 130 people in attendance. They told me that some Shabbats they couldn't get a minyan. The number of children in attendance that night especially surprised them. Their religious school numbers are dropping like a rock, while our religious school registration has been steady. They couldn't figure out what they are doing wrong or what we are doing right. They believe that they are doing the same things as Temple Beth Elohim. Same service structure. Same religious school curriculum.

So why can't the other temple duplicate Temple Beth Elohim's draw? Is it the building? A building is a building. While our new building is beautiful, it doesn't entice people to show up for services and religious school every week. Our secret weapon can be summed up in one word - Acrish. Many of us take the Rabbi for granted. The man is there every Friday night where he meets and greets us all with a smile. He is out front of the Temple Sunday mornings greeting our children by their first names. He is our grandfather, our father, our best friend. The Rabbi is the personification of Temple Beth Elohim. Okay, maybe I am giving him too much credit, but he deserves it.

So what does this all mean? We, as a congregation, need to grow Temple Beth Elohim's numbers. But how do we do this? Our only weakness appears to be that Jews aren't very good at selling the Jewish religion (personal observation) to other Jews or interfaith families. All we, as a congregation, need to do is to overcome the weakness of not selling the Jewish religion to prospective members; otherwise the statistics are in our favor.

I urge everyone to get out and talk it up amongst your friends. I know that you are not supposed to talk about politics, religion and sex, but try it anyway (not the politics or sex part). Invite friends and family to come and partake in the Temple Beth Elohim experience. We might be surprised who comes to visit. Once we get them in the building we can unleash the secret Acrish weapon.

B'Shalom,
Joe Coco

January 2009
Mara Rabin
Treasurer

Priceless...

We have seen the commercial with prices rattled off for various products and then it ends with "a memory is priceless".

A few weeks ago Mr. Greenfield let the second year confirmation class out a little early. The Confirmands settled into a makeshift game of softball in the parking lot. They didn' t have any equipment. They used a small ball and some school books for the bat and the bases. It was a beautiful Indian summer day and I watched the game and chatted with Karen Gutenplan about the fun they were having. I marveled at the comfort and ease they had playing this game in the Temple parking lot. Not exactly part of our religious school curriculum, but truly what our spiritual home is about, comfort. Karen even mentioned that Rabbi would enjoy the fact that the children were having a great time playing as they waited for their parent(s) to pick them up.

Imagine the surprise I had when I delivered a meal to a member of our temple family and the dog that greeted me at the top of a very steep driveway was as tall as the window of my car. I proceeded to go to the door to drop off the meal and was greeted with a smile from Howard Kaplan who was rolling on an office chair as he navigated his way to the kitchen. He and I shared a conversation about his recovery and I again marveled at his ease with the situation. Kate came home and we shared a hug of gratitude and friendship. As I drove home, I passed by the Temple overlooking Route 22 and thought about how good it felt to be a part of this amazing congregation.

Earlier this year Rich' s brother passed away and I had a momentary lapse of judgment. I didn' t call the Temple. Nan heard the news from one of our members and called me. Rabbi reached out to Rich in his special way as we mourned our loss. I share with you that my momentary lapse was because Rich is not Jewish. I forgot that we are all a part of Temple Beth Elohim' s vibrant family.

How may times have you felt the comfort of belonging to Temple Beth Elohim? How many memories do you have with this wonderful family? Thank you for allowing me to share mine. I conclude with the following: As you consider our capital campaign and what you should contribute, the answer is simple; give as much as you can, and then some. The feeling of helping to sustain the future of Temple Beth Elohim is priceless.

Mara Rabin, Kol Tuv

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