Temple Beth Elohim - Laurie Beth Gold, Rabbinic Intern

Laurie Beth Gold, rabbinic intern for the 2010-2011 school year at Temple Beth Elohim, Brewster, N.Y., is an admirer of Maimonides, the great Jewish philosopher of the Middle Ages.

"I really like him," she said. "I like the fact that he was so well-rounded. He was a rabbi, doctor, philosopher and legalist - a Renaissance man, if you will pardon the anachronism."

It's easy to see why Rabbi Gold would make this connection - she is something of a Renaissance woman herself. An attorney for more than two decades, she is now a student at the Academy for Jewish Religion, a pluralistic seminary in the Riverdale section of the Bronx, preparing to enter the rabbinate. She is also a former tri-athlete (swimming, biking and running) who has participated in about 10 triathlons and six marathons. "I still run and bike and swim," she said. "I did my last marathon four years ago. I'm eating too much these days but I'm still in good shape."

She's also dabbled in stand-up comedy. After taking a comedy class at the New School for Social Research, she was the only one in her class to brave a five-minute performance at Stand-Up New York. She followed that with several open-mike stints, including one that preceded performances from comedians Judy Gold and Adam Sandler - who were heckled by her mom in the audience.

In the following interview, Rabbi Gold talks about what led her to transition from the law to the rabbinate - and how being gay factored into that decision.

I think I always wanted to be a rabbi. I guess I fell into being a lawyer; my father was a lawyer and a lot of my parents' friends as well as the parents of my friends were lawyers. I used to go to court with my dad and I enjoyed that.

I've been a lawyer for 25 years, and I still work as a lawyer. I freelance as counsel for three or four law firms. They literally call me a day before an appearance when they are too busy to handle a deposition or a conference.

For the first 10 or so years after law school I would volunteer at my temple, Beth Simchat Torah in Manhattan, leading or co-leading services and delivering sermons, and I found it really satisfying. There was a time when there wasn't a rabbi, and it was all led by congregants. I would say to myself, "Well, I don't have to be a rabbi full-time; I can do this." But the more I kept doing it, the more I realized I wanted to do it full-time and I decided to go to rabbinical school. I'm very fortunate that I had the financial ability, as well as the emotional and intellectual ability, to go back to school. I had to start learning Hebrew because even though I had gone to Hebrew school through 12^th grade, it was a long time ago.

The part of being a lawyer that I don't like – even though I'm good at it – is the arguing; there's so much arguing and there's so much stress, especially when you're on trial. You have to be really tough and I think it takes its toll over time, even though it was something that was pretty exciting and invigorating. The best part of being a trial lawyer for me was picking a jury and getting to know people, talking and having repartee, and picking someone that you like and who likes you. That part of it was more my personality – as opposed to arguing all the time.

Yes, a lot. And I had an advantage over some of my classmates who weren't lawyers because I could read material and see the arguments and parse it in ways you learn in law school and as a practicing lawyer. And in American jurisprudence and Talmudic law, they want to get to a certain goal and can have very tortured reasoning, so I understand that too.

I was actually told that from the time I was very young that I said I wanted to be a rabbi. But I've been gay my whole life and I knew it. You couldn't go to Hebrew Union College and be out of the closet, and I didn't want to be in the closet. So I kind of put the idea that I wanted to be a rabbi out of my mind. Ironically the school where I go, the Academy for Jewish Religion, which was started in the 1950s, always let in gays and lesbians, but I never heard of it. They're not very good at getting PR out, though they're getting better at it. If I had known, I probably would have gone there.

Not until the 1980's. I don't think it was big news. I don't think I knew it or maybe I would have started earlier. So I put it out of my mind and became a lawyer, which has been very satisfying and was not that hard for me because I grew up thinking like a lawyer and being surrounded by lawyers.

I was very fortunate because I grew up attending Temple Beth-El in Great Neck, N.Y. When I was 19 and my mother found out I was gay, she talked to the rabbi, Rabbi Jerome Davidson. He said, "You're always going to love Laurie and she always has a place here and a place in Judaism." Coming from the rabbi, who my mother and father really respected and who I respect, it meant a lot. It was a very, very big deal that he said that. To this day, he's one of my heroes because he said that in the 1970's before it was fashionable.

I didn't tell many people, just a couple of my good friends. I don't think I felt anything particularly anti-gay from Jews; it was probably just the same general feeling of being an American in the 20^th century. I worked in the town library and I would read all the books on gay rights, and they were all really positive. So again I was lucky; if I had been in the middle of the boondocks somewhere reading bad things it would have been traumatic, but I read very positive things. And the couple of friends I told were very accepting. I've heard horror stories about people telling their friends and being shunned. I was very fortunate along the way – I have a lot to be grateful for. Even though my parents and grandparents were very upset and worried about me, the first thing my mother said was "We love you, Laurie." So her instinct was a good one.

Q: Is the Reform movement more accepting than the Conservative or Orthodox movements?

Even the Reform movement, from the time someone first suggested that gay people should be allowed to be rabbis and cantors, it was about a 15-year period until they finally decided to allow it in the 1980's. For the Conservative movement too, it was a long process; they just allowed gays and lesbians to become rabbis about five years ago. The Orthodox still don't allow it; they don't allow women generally to be rabbis.

I'm very grateful that I've lived to see changes. Sometimes I feel like a black person who assumed they were never going to be able to vote and they lived through the Civil Rights movement and now they can vote and feel grateful they have that right. So I feel very grateful.

Q: As a rabbi you have a particular perspective that would enable you to help gay kids. Do you try to reach out those kids and their families?

I've been asked by a couple of rabbis to speak to the youth group and they knew that some of the kids were gay. I spoke and I had a very positive response from them. I was glad I was able to do that.

It seems to be a non-issue. Nobody's ever said anything. The first article [in the temple newsletter] mentioned my wife Nancy Killian and she came to services once and people were very nice to her. People may have feelings they are keeping inside but I haven't heard anything.

Q: Tell me about what you're doing here at the Temple during your internship through next May.

I've been co-leading services for the Rabbi on Fridays, and when he's on vacation or busy I lead services. On Sunday I teach adult education. This past week I officiated at a funeral because the rabbi couldn't go. That was a really moving experience for me; it was a real honor to help bury a member of this congregation. I saw her daughters on Friday at services and spoke to them. That's been a meaningful part of my rabbinic work. Even as a student I've officiated at many funerals and found it particularly satisfying even though it's sad and I feel the family's grief and pain. I think it's an important aspect of being a rabbi.

I've had a really nice experience. The people have been so warm and welcoming. On Sunday morning, people introduce themselves before and after I teach. People in the Jewish Ethics class have been really smart and thoughtful and caring; they really consider the material with a lot of thought, and I appreciate that. On Friday nights people have been very welcoming. Nan Coulter, the office administrator, sent out an email asking if people would host me and I've gotten many calls to have dinner at people's houses. I've already had dinner at a couple of homes; Jim Eppinger and his wife have invited me to stay overnight; I stayed there once and had a very nice time. The rabbi's been terrific, very gracious with his time and advice and help.

I like passing on the tradition, the ethics, just teaching people what I've learned. I've learned so much these past six years, as I have my whole life, but especially these past six years in this very rigorous school program. I also like schmoozing with people during the Oneg hour; I like getting to know people. In the past I've co-officiated at a few weddings and I really enjoyed that. I've done a few baby namings and bris; I enjoy the lifecycle. It's so great being a rabbi and being an integral part of people's happiest moments and their most tragic moments; you really get to see the whole human condition.

For Rabbi Davidson from Temple Beth-El, that was his driving message. He took the best in Judaism, the ethical teachings from the Prophets and the Torah and would talk about them in every single sermon. From the time I was in 4^th grade, I remember him saying we shouldn't litter -- something as mundane as littering -- and to this day I think that littering is terrible. Later on he taught about war and corruption and it really stuck with me. The ethical teachings of Judaism were what he was most passionate about. And being a lawyer, too, I've also seen the benefits of justice in the court room and in mediations. And I've seen corrupt judges; when I practiced in Brooklyn a couple of the judges whom I appeared before ended up doing time for corruption. So saw how easily people can be corrupted, too.

I'm in my sixth year at the Academy of Jewish Religion. This is the first time I've worked at a temple, but over the past five years I have worked at a nursing home once a month in Queens, the Chapin Home for the Aging, where I lead services. I also worked for a year as an intern at another nursing home, the Jewish Home and Hospital in Manhattan, and I still fill in there when the rabbi goes on vacation, leading services and discussion groups. I enjoy my work very much with that population. I also lead classes for them on Jewish current events and Jewish culture, and the people who come are so happy to have the mental stimulation. It's everything from Maimonides to Jews in the Olympics. One woman whom I work with in Queens named Anne says, "Laurie, when you come it's the only time I remember I'm Jewish," and that really touches me. It makes my studying Talmud and other classes easier.

I would like to work as a pulpit rabbi. Seeing how hard Rabbi Acrish works and also how he seems to really enjoy his work -- he's a great model for me as a pulpit rabbi. I could see doing that.

Q: In this area?

I would like to stay in the New York area. My wife is a district attorney in the Bronx and my mother lives in Great Neck still, so I'd like to stay near them. But we'll see what happens. I could also work in Connecticut - I don't mind driving. When I was a trial lawyer, I used to drive two hours to Riverhead from where I lived.